Saturday, 19 December 2009

Jamie Carragher: The one-club defender who has lived and breathed Liverpool

AT lunchtime on Saturday, Jamie Carragher is scheduled to play his 600th game for Liverpool at Portsmouth. Sportsmail's Andy Townsend and four of Anfield's big names pay tribute to the remarkable one-club defender who has lived and breathed Liverpool since he was nine years old.

RAFA BENITEZ'TO BE at one club for such a long time and to play 600 games is absolutely amazing and shows the passion and commitment.
'Before I came here, I watched a lot of games and was analysing




'He wanted to be a central defender and he was keen to learn; you can see that he has improved and improved every single year. He is a top professional.


'That is the difference between him and other players. Some have different qualities but he analyses, he reads the games well and he can adapt to different situations.
'It can be difficult for defenders to get recognition. For strikers and midfielders, it is easy because everyone can see their goals. With defenders, you tend to see only own goals and mistakes getting highlighted.

'But, during the time I have been here, Carra has done really well. He is one of the best defenders in England.'

STEVE McMANAMAN'

MY FIRST real memory of Carra was in the team that won the FA Youth Cup in 1996. He was a great character. With that voice you could hear him a mile away. It was extra special for me and Robbie Fowler to see him come through as it was another good young local lad.

'Over my period in the team, he must have played in four or five different positions but his attitude was impeccable.

'He was always eager to learn but, equally, Carra was never afraid to mix it with the older lads and he would put himself about in training - people always talk about his tackling.

'To get to 600 games in this day and age is an outstanding achievement; it shows how well he has looked after himself and why he has been at the top of his profession for such a long time - that he can still play three times a week is a testament to his ability

DIDI HAMANN'

HE'S a fearsome competitor, and was always a hard worker from a young age. There were other players blessed with more talent and Jamie had to work for it. Although he started in the first team at 18 or 19 it's amazing that he's reached 600 games.

'When I went to the club he was playing right back, left back, centre midfield, anywhere he could get a game.




'After Rafael Benitez took over he transformed Jamie into one of the best centre backs in the Premier League. Benitez took his game to another level, and there haven't been too many better centre halves in England during his career.
'You soon realised how much the club meant to him


IAN RUSH

'WHEN I was coaching the strikers at the club under Gerard Houllier, I used to see Carra. He's a great basic defender who doesn't do any fancy stuff. His commitment is second to none.

'You don't get many defenders idolised by Liverpool supporters but he is. He'll throw his body in anywhere to stop the opposition and, if the ball needs to go into the stands, he'll put it in the stands.

'There's just so many defenders in the Premier League who cannot defend. They have plenty of skill on the ball but they cannot defend.

'Carragher's one of the oldfashioned ones. You need a mixture of both. Don't forget, he started out as a striker at Liverpool!

'But the move from right back to central defence a few years ago was great for him. At centre back, he is fantastic. He's one of the greatest defenders Liverpool have ever had.'

ANDY TOWNSEND'

HE made his full debut against Aston Villa when I was there and I think the impression he made on me is best described as a vicious assault!

'He walloped me six feet up in the air in a game Liverpool won 3-0 at Anfield. What you always recognised when you played against him was that he was a genuine competitor. If you conjure an image of him it is not of someone gliding along majestically, it is of someone with his hands on his hips gasping for his last breath and then lunging into a tackle to deny a goalscoring opportunity.

'He has not been the most cultured or skilful centre half, far from it, but in terms of effort there have been very few as giving as him.

'But Carragher is as good a club player as you will find and I have long admired his attitude.'He has lived the dream for many Liverpool lads, and he deserves all the credit he gets.'






The Carragher file

Date of birth: January 28, 1978.

First game: Middlesbrough (a) January 8, 1997; lost 2-1 League Cup.

First goal:Aston Villa (h) January 18, 1997; won 3-0.

Liverpool career: 599 games (578 starts), 52,094 minutes on pitch,
7 goals, 4 own goals, 73 yellow cards, 3 red cards.

Honours: FA Cup 2001, 2006; League Cup 2001, 2003; Community Shield 2001, 2006;
UEFA Cup 2001; Champions League 2005; Super Cup 2001, 2005;
FA Youth Cup 1996.

England honours: 34 caps (27 Under 21 caps).

Did you know?: Liverpool have kept clean sheets on
Carragher's 100th, 200th,300th, 400th and 500th appearances.










Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Liverpool still labour in the shadow of Bill Shankly



In the tapes he made with John Roberts for his autobiography, Bill Shankly's voice suddenly leaps to great oratorical heights when the talk moves round to the abject state Liverpool were in when he joined in 1959. The exchange would haunt the Kop as they gather to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Shankly's arrival during tonight's home game against Wigan.


"The facilities weren't good enough for the public of Liverpool," Shankly starts. "The ground wasn't good enough for the public of Liverpool. The team wasn't good enough for the public of Liverpool. And there was nothing good enough for the public of Liverpool. Nothing at all. There was only potential. But I knew the people of Liverpool were like the people where I come from. They've got fervour in them – and they've got pride."


Skin-tingling rhetoric has not been a feature of the Rafael Benítez era. Nor could a Spaniard working in England in the mass-media age hope to match Shankly's mastery of comedy. But there is plenty in the diagnosis from 1959 to stir uncomfortable thoughts in the Anfield crowd after a run of three wins in 15 games. No new stadium in sight; a team not good enough to survive the Champions League group stage or penetrate the Premier League's top six; no obvious "potential" if corporate debt keeps bearing down and the summer brings an exodus of stars.


At least boardroom conflict spans all five decades. In his recently republished memoirs Liverpool's spiritual father remarks that the directors' room where he had to fight for funds was so dark and gloomy that he called it "the morgue". He told Jimmy Melia in there: "Watch you don't trip over the coffins."


Benítez, who adopts the posture in press conferences of a captured airman being interrogated by the enemy, is not devoid of wit. When the Guardian was interviewing Jamie Carragher at the club's Melwood training ground, Benítez breezed past and called to his defender, "English lessons?" ‑ a joke aimed at the defender's deep Scouse accent.


Levity, though, is in shorter supply on Merseyside this week than Manchester United bedspreads. Liverpool have lost as many games this season (10) as they have won and tonight's Shankly retrospective will intensify the spotlight on Benítez, especially as Ian St John, an idol of the 60s, said after Sunday's home defeat to Arsenal: "Don't ask what Shanks would have made of it. I dread to think, and the timing of it makes me feel even more sad." Graeme Souness, another Anfield aristocrat, had claimed his alma mater were heading for "meltdown".


Nostalgia's balm will doubtless soothe the congregation when nine Shankly family members and 15 players from his pomp (1959-1974) parade on the pitch at half-time and a mosaic evokes a time when the man from the mines of Glenbuck spotted special virtues in the Liverpudlian identity. Socialism, loyalty, unity and sober endeavour were the principles Shankly harnessed when he arrived to find Melwood "a wilderness" where "there were hills, there were hollows, there were trees, there was long grass", and where a passive acceptance of mediocrity was the norm until a change in culture provided the money to buy Ron Yeats and St John.


Older Kopites will recall a day mentioned by Kevin Keegan in his autobiography: "I'll never forget the game soon after he [Shankly] had retired when he turned up at Anfield and stood with his beloved fans in the Kop. The first we players knew about it was when we heard the swelling chant from the supporters, 'Shankly, Shankly, here he is, here he is'."


Keegan's hero broke through with the league winning sides of 1964 and 1966. The next wave won the 1973 title and the FA Cup in his final year, with Tommy Smith, Emlyn Hughes, Keegan and Steve Heighway. Since he walked into his own wilderness of aimlessness and regret 35 years ago, when pathos splashed the script, Liverpool have been led by three Boot Room graduates (Bob Paisley, Joe Fagan and Roy Evans), two Anfield superstars (Kenny Dalglish and Souness) and two A-list European coaches who imported French (Gérard Houllier) and then Spanish cultures.


Each has been viewed inevitably as an inheritor of the Shankly tradition. The name is kept alive, too, by political resistance. The movement against the US owner-speculators, Tom Hicks and George Gillett, marches under the "Spirit of Shankly" banner, and the most emotive landmarks at the stadium, after the Hillsborough memorial, are the Shankly Gates and statue, which bears the epitaph: "He made the people happy."


This is the challenge all Liverpool managers are landed with: to be a brilliant comedian, statesman, team-builder and moral patriarch. Tommy Smith remembers Shankly rejecting a player after he had tested positive for a sexually transmitted disease during his medical. "I'm not having a philanderer here," he erupted. "This is a family club. Send him back."


The ultimate accolade is to be compared favourably to Shankly. The stamp of doom is to be dismissed as a vandal to his legacy. The cult is explained by Brian Reade in 43 Years With the Same Bird – A Liverpudlian Love Affair. Reade writes of Shankly: "In the lean years we stood by him, refusing to doubt that he would turn things around. In the early Seventies, when the trophies came flooding back, we ditched mere adoration and worshipped him like a pagan god. He started something unique in football: the manager as idol. A tradition Liverpool fans respect to this day under Benítez [the book was published in 2008].


"Look at the huge liver bird flag that spreads across the Kop shortly before every kick-off and you'll see, down either side of it, not drawings of the greatest strikers over the years, but the managers. Listen to the songs sung about Benítez, as they were about Houllier, and you will hear a crowd reaching out to its leader, demanding a communion between the dug-out and the stands. It's a cry to be loved, a request for the man who holds the club's destiny in his hands to recognise his flock. And it dates directly back to Shankly. Imagine how that must have felt for Houllier and Benítez." St John wrote: "Shankly once said that his power over the fans made him feel like Chairman Mao."


Loyalty ingrained 50 years ago has bought Benítez and Houllier precious time, but today's Liverpool side have already endured as many Premier League defeats (six in 16 outings) as they did in the previous two campaigns combined. Shankly built the club from the bottom up. Under Benítez, Liverpool are cracking from the top down. Shankly's shadow falls across him, as it will the next man in.

Saturday, 12 December 2009

'Keling' - they helped make this country great

Lt Col (Rtd) Mohd Idris Hassan
Dec 11, 09
(source:Malaysia Kini)

THANK YOU FOR RECOGNISING INDIANS EFFORT ...Lt Col
and his comments on the Malaysiakini report
Of noisy Indians and 'keling' blood: Utusan strikes again.


The attacking of fellow Malaysians by the mainstream media Utusan Malaysia because of their race is unwarranted and most uncalled for. I remember in the late forties when I was a little boy living in my hometown of Raub, Pahang.

I used to pass road gangs of Tamil labourers toiling in the midday's scorching sun from dawn till dusk. Armed with only picks and shovels, they would be hacking at solid rocks to carve out roads along the mountain side.

They had no proper attire, just a withered white towel tied in turban form on their heads. They would wrap rags around their spindly legs to prevent the hot molten tar from scalding them as they went about their chores.

Yet they had time to smile and wave at passing cars. They used to be referred to as 'coolies' and their slave-like living quarters as coolie lines. My late father used to tell us that most of the roads in Malaya at the turn of the century were built solely by Indian labour.

They toiled in the malaria-infested rubber estates, living with their families in filthy inhuman conditions. The white 'tuan' treated them like slaves and allowed them to indulge in drinking toddy to forget their woes .

Yet again it was the same coolies called 'toties' who serviced our bucket system latrines until the early sixties as there were no takers for this job from the other races. I have seen for myself these 'toties' cleaning the rubber tubs at a stream not far from my house with their bare hands.

In short, when there was any dirty, menial job to be done, it was this Tamil coolie, then often called by the derogatory term 'keling', that did it for us.

Now times have changed and their offsprings have made much progress in all fields and want to take their rightful place in our society .Let's not pour scorn on them and laugh away their pride.
As a soldier I know that many of my Indian/Tamil friends who fought and died for this country . They all are a part of those who stood by us during the good and bad times, they have helped make this country great.

A country which rightfully belongs to all Malaysians

Friday, 13 November 2009

How the US army protects its trucks – by paying the Taliban

On 29 October 2001, while the Taliban's rule over Afghanistan was under assault, the regime's ambassador in Islamabad in neighbouring Pakistan gave a chaotic press conference in front of several dozen reporters sitting on the grass. On the Taliban diplomat's right sat his interpreter, Ahmad Rateb Popal, a man with an imposing presence. Like the ambassador, Popal wore a black turban, and he had a huge bushy beard. He had a black patch over his right eye socket, a prosthetic left arm and a deformed right hand, the result of injuries from an explosives mishap during an old operation against the Soviets in Kabul.

But Popal was more than just a former mujahideen. In 1988, a year before the Soviets fled Afghanistan, Popal had been charged in the United States with conspiring to import more than a kilo of heroin. Court records show he was released from prison in 1998.
Flash forward to 2009, and Afghanistan is ruled by Popal's cousin, President Hamid Karzai. Popal has cut his huge beard down to a neatly trimmed one and has become an immensely wealthy businessman, along with his brother Rashid Popal, who pleaded guilty to a heroin charge in 1996 in Brooklyn in a separate case.

The Popal brothers control the huge Watan Group in Afghanistan, a consortium engaged in telecommunications, logistics and, most important, security. Watan Risk Management, the Popals' private military arm, is one of the few dozen private security companies in Afghanistan [its senior personnel are ex-British army, many of them from Special Services]. One of Watan's enterprises, key to the war effort, is protecting convoys of Afghan trucks heading from Kabul to Kandahar, carrying American supplies.

Welcome to the wartime contracting bazaar in Afghanistan. It is a virtual carnival of improbable characters and shady connections, with former CIA ­ officials and ex–military officers joining hands with former Taliban and mujahideen to collect US government funds in the name of the war effort.

In this grotesque carnival, the US military's contractors are forced to pay suspected insurgents to protect American supply routes. It is an accepted fact of the military logistics operation in Afghanistan that the US government funds the very forces American troops are fighting. And it is a deadly irony, because these funds add up to a huge amount of money for the Taliban.

"It's a big part of their income," one of the top Afghan government security officials admits. In fact, US military officials in Kabul estimate that a minimum of 10% of the Pentagon's logistics contracts – hundreds of millions of dollars – consists of payments to insurgents.

Understanding how this situation came to pass requires untangling two threads. The first is the complex web of connections that determines who wins and who loses in Afghan business, and a good place to pick up this thread is a small firm awarded a US military logistics contract worth hundreds of millions of dollars: NCL Holdings.

Like the Popals' Watan Risk, NCL is a licensed security company in Afghanistan. What NCL Holdings is most notable for in Kabul contracting circles, though, is the identity of its chief principal, Hamed Wardak. He is the young American son of Afghan's current defence minister, General Rahim Wardak, who was a leader of the mujahideen against the Soviets.

Earlier this year, the firm, with no apparent trucking experience, was named as one of the six companies that would handle all the US trucking in Afghanistan, bringing supplies to the web of bases and remote outposts scattered across the country.

Striking contracting gold

At first the contract, for "host nation trucking", was large but not gargantuan. But over the summer, citing the coming "surge" and a new doctrine, "Money as a weapons system", the US military expanded the contract 600% for NCL and the five other companies. The contract documentation warns of dire consequences if more is not spent: "Service members will not get the food, water, equipment and ammunition they require."

Each of the military's six trucking contracts was bumped up to $360m, or a total of nearly $2.2bn. Put it in this perspective: this single two-year effort to hire Afghan trucks and truckers was worth 10% of the annual Afghan gross domestic product. NCL, the firm run by the defence minister's well-connected son, had struck pure contracting gold.

Host nation trucking does, indeed, keep the US military efforts alive in Afghanistan. "We supply everything the army needs to survive here," one American trucking executive told me. "We bring them their toilet paper, their water, their fuel, their guns, their vehicles."

The epicentre is Bagram air base, just an hour north of Kabul, from where virtually everything in Afghanistan is trucked to the outer reaches of what the army calls "the battlespace" – that is, the entire country. Parked near Entry Control Point 3, the trucks line up, shifting gears and sending up clouds of dust as they prepare for their various missions across the country.

The real secret to trucking in Afghanistan is security on the perilous roads, controlled by warlords, tribal militias, insurgents and Taliban commanders. The American executive I talked to was fairly specific about it: "The army is basically paying the Taliban not to shoot at them. It is Department of Defense money."

That is something everyone seems to agree on. Mike Hanna is the project manager for a trucking company called Afghan American Army Services. The company, which still operates in Afghanistan, had been trucking for the United States for years but lost out in the host nation trucking contract that NCL won. Hanna explained the security realities quite simply: "You are paying the people in the local areas – some are warlords, some are politicians in the police force
– to move your trucks through."

Hanna explained that the prices charged are different depending on the route. "We're basically being extorted. Where you don't pay, you're going to get attacked. We just have our field guys go down there, and they pay off who they need to."

Sometimes, he says, the fee is high, and sometimes it is low. "Moving 10 trucks, it is probably $800 per truck to move through an area. It's based on a number of trucks and what you're carrying. If you have fuel trucks, they are going to charge you more. If you have dry trucks, they're not going to charge you as much. If you are carrying Mraps [mine-resistant ambush-protected vehicles] or Humvees, they are going to charge you more."

Hanna says it is just a necessary evil. "If you tell me not to pay these insurgents in this area, the chances of my trucks getting attacked increase exponentially."

The private security industry in Afghanistan has developed quite differently from the private military model seen in Iraq, where firms such as Blackwater were arms of the US government. The industry in Kabul is far more dog-eat-dog. "Every warlord has his security company," is the way one executive explained it to me.

The heart of the matter is that insurgents are getting paid for safe passage because there are few other ways to bring goods to the combat outposts and forward operating bases where soldiers need them. By definition, many outposts are situated in hostile terrain, in the southern parts of Afghanistan. The security firms don't really protect convoys of US military goods here because they simply can't; they need the Taliban's co-operation.

One of the big problems for the companies that ship US military supplies across the country is that they are banned from arming themselves with any weapon heavier than a rifle. That makes them ineffective for battling Taliban attacks on a convoy. Insurgents are "shooting the drivers from 3,000ft away" with Kalashnikovs, a trucking company executive in Kabul told me. "They are using RPGs [rocket-propelled grenades] that will blow up an up-armed vehicle. So the security companies are tied up. Because of the rules, security companies can only carry AK-47s, and that's just a joke. I carry an AK – and that's just to shoot myself if I have to!"

The rules are there for a good reason: to guard against devastating collateral damage by private security forces. Still, as Hanna points out, "An AK-47 versus a rocket-propelled grenade – you are going to lose."


That said, at least one of the host nation trucking companies has tried to do battle instead of paying off insurgents and warlords. It is a US-owned firm called Four Horsemen International (FHI). Instead of payments, it tried to fight off attackers. FHI, like many other firms, refused to talk publicly; but insiders in the security industry say that FHI's convoys are attacked on virtually every mission.

Watan's secret weapon

For the most part, the security firms do as they must to survive. A veteran American manager in Afghanistan who has worked there as both a soldier and a private security contractor in the field told me, "What we are doing is paying warlords associated with the Taliban, because none of our security elements is able to deal with the threat."

He is an army veteran with years of Special Forces experience, and he is not happy about what is being done. He says that, at a minimum, American military forces should try to learn more about who is getting paid off. "Most escorting is done by the Taliban," an Afghan private security official told me. He is a Pashto and former mujahideen commander who has his finger on the pulse of the military situation and the security industry. And he works with one of the trucking companies carrying US supplies. "Now the government is so weak," he added, "everyone is paying the Taliban."

To Afghan trucking officials, this is barely even something to worry about. One woman I met was an extraordinary entrepreneur who had built up a trucking business in this male-dominated field. She told me the security company she had hired dealt directly with Taliban leaders in the south. Paying the Taliban leaders meant they would send along an escort to ensure that no other insurgents would attack. In fact, she said, they just needed two armed Taliban vehicles. "Two Taliban is enough," she told me. "One in the front and one in the back." She shrugged. "You cannot work otherwise. Otherwise it is not possible."


Which leads us back to the case of Watan Risk, the firm run by the Popals, the Karzai family relatives and former drug dealers. Watan is known to control one key stretch of road that all the truckers use: the strategic route to Kandahar called Highway 1. Think of it as the road to the war – to the south and to the west. If the army wants to get supplies down to Helmand, for example, the trucks must make their way through Kandahar.


Watan Risk, according to seven different security and trucking company officials, is the sole provider of security along this route. The reason is simple: Watan has a deal with the local warlord who controls the road.

Watan's secret weapon to protect American supplies heading through Kandahar is a man named Commander Ruhullah. Said to be a handsome man in his 40s, Ruhullah has an oddly high-pitched voice. He wears traditional salwar kameez and a Rolex watch. He rarely, if ever, associates with westerners. He commands a large group of irregular fighters with no known government affiliation, and his name, security officials tell me, inspires obedience or fear in villages along the road.

According to witnesses, Ruhullah works like this: he waits until there are hundreds of trucks ready to convoy south down the highway. Then he gets his men together, setting them up in 4x4s and pickups. Witnesses say he does not limit his arsenal to AK-47s but uses any weapons he can get. His chief weapon is his reputation. And for that, Ruhullah is paid royally, collecting a fee for each truck that passes through his corridor. The American trucking official told me that Ruhullah "charges $1,500 per truck to go to Kandahar. Just 300km."
Security, extortion or insurance?

It is hard to pinpoint what this is, exactly – security, extortion or a form of "insurance". Then there is the question, does Ruhullah have ties to the Taliban? That is impossible to know. As an American private security veteran familiar with the route says, "He works both sides . . . whatever is most profitable. He's the main commander. He's got to be involved with the Taliban. How much, no one knows."

Even NCL, the company owned by Hamed Wardak, is reputed to pay. Two sources with direct knowledge tell me that NCL sends its portion of US logistics goods in Watan and Commander Ruhullah's convoys. Sources say NCL is billed $500,000 a month for Watan's services. To underline the point, NCL, operating on a $360m contract from the US military, and owned by the Afghan defense minister's son, is apparently paying millions a year from those funds to a company owned by President Karzai's cousins, for protection.

Cleaning up what looks like cronyism may be easier than the next step: shutting down the money pipeline from Department of Defense contracts to potential insurgents. Two years ago, a top Afghan security official told me, Afghanistan's intelligence service, the National Directorate of Security (NDS), alerted the American military to the problem. The NDS is a well-run service, trusted by the international forces. The NDS delivered what I'm told are "very detailed" reports to the Americans explaining how the Taliban are profiting from protecting convoys of US supplies. The Afghan intelligence service even offered a solution: what if the US was to take the tens of millions paid to security contractors and instead set up a dedicated and professional convoy support unit to guard its logistics lines? The suggestion went nowhere.

The bizarre fact is that the practice of buying the Taliban's protection is not a secret. I asked Colonel David Haight, who commands the Third Brigade of the 10th Mountain Division, about it. After all, part of Highway 1 runs through his area of operations. What did he think about security companies paying off insurgents?

"The American soldier in me is repulsed by it," he said in an interview in his office at forward operating base Shank in Logar province. "But I know that it is what it is: essentially paying the enemy, saying, 'Hey, don't hassle me.' I don't like it, but it is what it is."
As a military official in Kabul explained contracting in Afghanistan overall, "We understand that across the board, 10-20% goes to the insurgents. My intel [intelligence] guy would say it is closer to 10%. Generally, it is happening in logistics."


In a statement about host nation trucking, the US army's chief public affairs officer in Afghanistan, Colonel Wayne Shanks, says international forces are "aware of allegations that procurement funds may find their way into the hands of insurgent groups, but we do not directly support or condone this activity, if it is occurring". He adds that, in spite of oversight, "the relationships between contractors and their subcontractors, as well as between subcontractors and others in their operational communities, are not entirely transparent".

In any case, the main issue is not that the US military is turning a blind eye to the problem. Many officials acknowledge what is going on while also expressing a deep disquiet about the situation. The trouble is that – as with so much in Afghanistan – the United States doesn't seem to know how to fix it.

Saturday, 13 June 2009

NOAH and THE ARK

In the year 2020, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Malaysia, and said: Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living things along with a few good humans.

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have six months to build the Ark before I start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard, but no Ark.

Noah! He roared. I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?

Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, but things have changed.

First, I need to have a BUMIPUTRA PARTNER who is linked to UMNO. Then I needed a building permit from DBKL and also have to pay under-counter money to get the permit.
Then I've been arguing with the BOMBA inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbours complained to The Malay Mail about the height of the Ark I was going to build and the next day it was in the headlines claiming that I've violated the neighbourhood building by-laws because my Ark is going to exceed the height limitations. I appealed to the magistrate and it was approved.

The Opposition then took advantage of the situation and said I was a government crony and they did nasty things with my face in the Internet. I don’t know how they managed to superimpose my face on a naked body with naked MP’s and portrayed it on the YouTube. Oh Lord you are the All Knowing and you know I did not take the photos of the MP.
Then there was another stop-work order even before I could start work. After that the Badan Cegah Rasuah arrested me for pornography.

I talked to a lawyer who looks like Ambitah Bachan -- talks like him, acts like him, but is not him. He said he knows the Chief Justice and the Prime Minister -- the Apa Nama -- and can clear my name but I have to buy them tickets to Australia.

After clearing my name I had to again go to the DBKL Appeal Board for a decision to allow me to build the Ark.

Then the government, after approving the plans, said I must use only SIRIM approved goods and that I must buy from their list of CLASS F Bumiputera contractors and their prices are 15 times more expensive than the Chinaman hardware shop.

Then TNB and JPJ demanded that I post a bond for the future costs of moving power-lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the timber for the Ark was another problem. SUKHAM and the JABATAN HUTAN NEGARA said that there's a ban on the cutting local trees in order to save the Orang Utan.

I tried to convince SUKHAM and JABATAN HUTAN NEGARA that I needed the wood to save the Orang Hutan but they said no go.
When I started gathering the animals, JAKIM and an animal rights group sued me. JAKIM said I cannot put the chickens and the pigs next to each other as it WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED HALAL and the animal rights group insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued that the accommodations were too restrictive and that it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then JABATAN KERJA RAYA and JABATAN KAJIAN DAN GALIAN ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an Environmental Impact Study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many Bumiputera contractors I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

JABATAN IMMIGRASI and RELA are checking the status of most of the people who want to work. The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark-building experience.
As I started to clear the area to build the Ark, six gangsters came and demanded protection money. They said they will control the area for the selling of drugs and the supply of prostitutes to my workers.
When I complained to the POLIS, the next day the IGP sent an ASP who came in full uniform. Unfortunately he also happens to be one of the six gangsters who were demanding protection money and so he doubled my protection fee.
Then there was a by-election and I was forced to become an UMNO member to get my permits approved and was made to pay a donation by the Barisan Nasional candidate in the so-called spirit of MUHIBBAH. Otherwise they will make life difficult for me.
Every department I turned to is asking what they call “Kopi Wang”.
I calculated that if I paid all the so-called “Kopi Wang” and also give them the donation they ask, the cost to build the Ark will be 20 times higher. But I refused to give them the “Kopi Wang” as I am faithful to you Oh Lord.
Then some top-level politicians became very disappointed with me for not giving them the donations and they started calling me a Murtad. I told them my name is Noah and not Murtad and they got very angry and said they have connections.
Suddenly I became a suspect in the murder of a Mongolian lady because the place where she was murdered happens to be on the land where I am going to build the Ark and I was then arrested.
To make matters worse, the Jabatan HASIL seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. I have just been released from ISA.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, you mean you're not going to destroy the world?
No, said the Lord, the Malaysian Government beat me to it!

Author unknown
(a posting taken from RPK's blog)

Thursday, 28 May 2009

FORVER IN OUR SHADOW

Forever In Our Shadow"

Are you watching Merseyside" the assembled United masses sang before the game in Rome last night. Yes, we are. And how we enjoyed it.

The United fan base have this unhealthy obsession with Liverpool, with everything they do being measured against our own achievements. They cannot play a single game without their fans singing about Liverpool. Everything they strive for exists at the other end of the M62. The odd blog from myself does not constitute hypocrisy on that front. We go to the game to support our own side and very rarely sing about others unless we happen to be playing them. The hatred and jealousy United fans have for us doesn't allow them to do that.

After living in our shadow for so long, they can now see the sun blazing down just a few steps away. Just a couple more strides and they'll walk from that shadow and cast one of their own as the most successful club in the land. They can see the light, and last night missed a huge opportunity to take another huge step away from that darkness.

Alex Ferguson postponed his retirement a number of years ago for one reason only; to win more European Cups.

He has continually stated himself, that to be classed as a truly great side you have to win at least 2 European Cups with the same group of players. You have to win the big one more than once. Thus far he has managed to win it twice, but with each being almost a decade apart. Last night was his chance to achieve his dream and allow self congratulation of drawing alongside the man that casts a constant shadow over him; Bob Paisley.

Ferguson will not rest until he's equalled or surpassed the European Cup haul of Sir Bob. No matter how many league titles he wins, it's the European Cup that really matters, and the trophy that is still the holy grail for all, no matter what anyone says. It may be becoming a tedious competition, with the repetitive nature of playing sides from your own country time and time again, but it's still the one that sets apart the good sides from the great sides. Alex Ferguson will tell you exactly the same.

Arsenal and Chelsea have won the league in recent years, but neither of them have a European Cup to their name. Alex Ferguson has 11 league titles under his belt, but only 2 European Cups; and that hurts him. It also highlights just how special those European successes are.

There are 14 managers that have won 2 European Cups; Alex Ferguson just remains a name amongst that 14, with only one manager standing over the rest having amassed a collection of 3 European Cups. That man is Bob Paisley.

Ferguson might not admit it publically, but he knows that Bob Paisley is the greatest manager of all time. He knows that what Bob achieved in his time at Liverpool will never be surpassed.

Paisley - 6 league titles and 3 European Cups in 9 years

Ferguson - 11 league titles and 2 European Cups in 22 years

If Paisley had another 13 years in charge of Liverpool, giving him a 22 year reign, imagine how many European Cups he could have brought home.

He won the equivalent of 1 European Cup every 3 years. Ferguson has 1 every 10 years.

He won the league 2 out of 3 seasons. Ferguson has won it 1 in 2.

It's not even a contest.

Barcelona last night exposed the lack of "greatness" about this current Manchester United side. The majesty of Iniesta and Xavi in midfield making the axis of Carrick and Anderson look second rate. That's £35m worth of Carrick and Anderson by the way.

£70m rated Ronaldo, £30m purchases Rooney and Berbatov and a £30m striker in Carlos Tevez all on the field for the last half an hour and could do nothing to even threat the Barcelona goal. £160m worth of attacking talent that offered hardly anything. A side put together for vast amounts and completely outclassed by Barcelona.

Where does Ferguson go from here? Open the cheque book again?

This summer is absolutely massive for both Manchester United and Liverpool. We are both level on 18 league titles and as closely matched on the field as we have been in decades. The moves made in the transfer market this summer by both clubs will be crucial in who takes the advantage come next May.

But one advantage I'm convinced Alex Ferguson will never hold, is the one that really matters when separating success from greatness; European Cup glory.

We're staying on our perch Alex.

Liverpool 5-3 Man Utd

Forever In Our Shadow